How's it going in there?
Oh, man.
You want me to call the doctor again?
Here's your aspirin.
Don't let me see you swallow, I couldn't handle that right now.
Who was Montezuma, anyway?
And what did I ever do to him?
Still gin rummy?
Oh, God, here they go again.
Would you turn up the radio?
How many times is that today?
I count five.
Charlie, you're not upset that we haven't...
You know, since we've been here?
No, no, not at all. I'm fine.
'Cause except for your skin and my stomach and them,
well, I'm having a really good time here with you.
I know. Me too.
I mean, if all we do this whole honeymoon is play cards, I'm still gonna feel--
Don't worry, okay?
That is not gonna happen.
As soon as the sunburn is gone...
-Thank God. -Yeah.
I was hoping you were gonna say that.
I mean, no rush, but hurry.
You gonna pick up that queen or not?
Okay, Sarah, that was the last time.
No more. I am so late for work.
I bet I could change your mind.
Well, don't. Don't.
I've got two busy shifts to run at the restaurant,
plus AA squeezed somewhere in between.
So? I've got stuff, too. Classes, speech team--
Hey, do I look... fresh?
You know, fresh from...
-Fresh? -Yeah.
I was an hour late yesterday, too,
and the busboys were all giving me these way-to-go looks.
-How'd they know? -I don't know.
I guess I just looked too happy, I guess.
That's nice. Don't you think that's nice?
I think...
Wanna go for a record?
Again? What is wrong with us, Sarah?
Still? What is wrong with them, Kirsten?
All I can say is...
gin.
Am I winning yet?
I've lost count.
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ And everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free ♪
"...in witness whereof, author and publisher
have executed this agreement as of the effective date..."
Oh, my God! Julia, congratulations!
-Oh, this is amazing! -Now all I have to do is write it.
Oh, but this isn't, like, okay, spiral binding.
We are talking about a real book.
Totally real. Totally real.
So real there's actually a publication date, which was yesterday,
a minimum page count, and a marketing plan.
Wait, like Oprah and stuff?
I'm gonna have to write a third of a chapter a day.
Is there gonna be a movie deal?
Not till I'm finished, Claud.
Well, what about book signings and stuff like that?
Yeah, all of that stuff, which is why I really want you guys to read this proposal.
Because, well, you're both in it, first of all,
but also because I need a lot of help.
-Hey, did you get an advance? -An advance? What's that?
It's money upfront.
I need help not just figuring out what to say,
but also with the facts, you know, stuff that happened,
stuff that I might have forgotten.
Who do you want to play you in the movie version?
-Oh, how about Sarah Michelle? -She's way overexposed.
Excuse me, you guys are gonna help me write this, aren't you?
-Sure! -What about Cameron Diaz?
Mm! But, no,
Julia would have to beef up the part first.
Oh.
How's the burn?
A little better. Your stomach?
Eh.
Hey, look.
You think that's them, the neighbors?
I don't know, but how many sizes too small is that Speedo?
What about her? She's practically pouring out of that top.
It's more like a string.
Honeymooners, eh?
Um, hi. I'll have the huevos albanil, without a tortilla,
And a cup of coffee, black.
And I'll have the mango crepes,
with a large OJ.
Oh, will that be good for my stomach?
No ice.
That is so funny.
I just got the same exact order
from the couple at the other table.
Hold the tortilla and everything.
No, not them, the other table.
It's their 30th wedding anniversary.
They've been playing that card game for hours. You know...
Gin rummy.
All right. The bed or the floor?
Wherever. And that's just for starters.
-Ow! -Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
-Should we maybe wait? -No!
No, no, we are doing this, all right?
Just watch the top of my shoulders,
and the back of my knees are killing me,
-and this spot right here on my chest-- -Mm-hmm.
So, is Mr. Sanders still teaching AP Chem
or is he working full-time on that sweater-vest collection of his?
What?
Cody, what are you doing here?
Well, Owsley's playing tonight at Frets
with Fountains of Wayne.
Cody, we've covered this.
I mean, we broke up.
Yeah, I guess...
No, Cody, we broke up. I mean, we did.
I don't know, I have to get to class.
Wait, can't we just talk about this?
You know, maybe get a cup of coffee or something?
Do you think this is pleasant for me?
I mean, don't you realize that it hurts me to see you?
Me too, so, why can't we just try and figure this thing out?
For all the reasons that I have said.
We're in different places, Cody.
I mean, we don't make sense.
Well, I guess I just don't believe that.
Well, believe it 'cause that's the way it is.
Claudia, please!
Claudia!
This is your brand-new day-care center.
You know Mommy hates to leave you,
but, you know, when Dad's away I can't work the night shift, so, I've gotta do
that whole supermom breadwinner thing, you know?
But, hey, if you resent me for it, I'll just make a little extra money
and put you in therapy someday.
I'm just kidding.
You are totally okay with this, aren't you?
I'm probably just cramping your style, huh?
Okay, I'm going.
I love you.
Bye.
Sarah, hey, how are you?
Hi.
Hey, I didn't know you were coming here.
Yeah, I was just on my way back from class
and I wanted to surprise you.
Well, great, that's great.
I was interrupting something.
I'm sorry. You know what?
Just keep saying whatever you were saying.
Uh...
Sorry.
Idiot. It's private.
The second "A" is "anonymous", right?
You know what? I'm just gonna go and I'll--
No, no, hey, no, we're pretty much finished, right?
You bet. So, uh,
good luck with that... that signature drive.
Sorry?
You know, the voter registration thing at your school.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
See ya.
I will never get used to that.
What?
Well, that the people that you meet with here,
they know so much about me.
Well, you can always come to a meeting
and get all the dirt on them.
No...
I don't know, I guess I'm just kind of jealous.
Of what, of this?
Of us sharing stuff here?
Sarah, don't be.
If you heard some of the stuff
that gets said in these rooms, believe me,
you're much better off not knowing.
Okay, let's move on to Julia Salinger's outline.
Julia, do you have anything to say before hearing comments?
Yeah, actually, I do. Um...
I'm having trouble with how to open chapter one.
I was just wondering if you guys could help me decide.
Is the character sketch at the end of the outline--
I have a comment.
I want to know why we're spending time
on a piece with a due date and a contract
when just yesterday
we said that result-oriented thinking
is bad for the creative process.
Well, uh,
Julia, would you like to say a word
about how your process is being affected by a contract
and a looming due date?
Looming. Uh, right, it is.
Okay, well, I'm just glad to be at this school
so I don't have to deal with the pressure alone.
Pressure?
I'm sorry, uh, how am I supposed to comment seriously
on a commercial tell-all by an author who's obviously
someone's cynical idea for a hot jacket cover?
- Anders? - What?
That's a little bit hostile.
Even for you.
Sorry.
Okay, listen, people.
Believe me,
we all don't have to feel threatened because Julia's got a book deal.
Lots of people get deals, advances, contracts
expenses paid, office space,
editors wining and dining us.
And what happens nine times out of 10?
They back out.
They say, "Oh, we're sorry,
but it's too minor for publication."
So...
let's all try to be adults here, shall we?
And be on Ms. Salinger's side.
Okay, where were we?
Le Chatelier's principle states
that if a change of conditions is applied
to a system in equilibrium...
...the equilibrium position will shift to reduce the stress
- and a new equilibrium position will be reached. -
What is that?
Hey, uh, this is for Claudia.
-If she'll listen. -Oh, my God.
Uh, all right, people, back to your seats.
Claudia?
Salinger?
No way.
Man, there's more straps and buttons and snaps on this thing--
Can you... You know what, can I ask you a question?
Can you... what? Can you what?
It's just about what we said before, at AA today.
Sarah, can't this wait till later? Like... after?
When you talk about us at meetings,
do you tell people that things are good?
What? What do you mean?
Well, because right now things seem great.
You know, really, incredibly great.
Yeah, definitely.
But... sometimes I worry,
how it all happened,
if it was too easy.
You know, I mean, I said I was mad, and you said you were sorry,
but other than that, we haven't really talked that much.
And we've just sorta done this.
And done it, and done it.
And I am not complaining, trust me.
It's just that sometimes I'd like to talk to you.
You know?
You are totally right.
Sometime, we will.
Well, what about now?
Well, except for now.
I can give you any time but now.
Okay, what's wrong with now?
Now is busy. Now is bad.
Are you sure later wouldn't work?
Okay, later is good.
But we'll do it, okay? I promise.
Yeah, okay. Sounds great.
I was just...
I was kind of nervous and stiff.
My... stomach still kind of hurts.
Plus my sunburn...
Yeah, your sunburn.
That sure didn't help.
And this bed.
the egg crates kept getting bunched up under the sheet.
Yeah, but still, I mean,
I wasn't exactly the long-distance runner
that I've been known to be.
Well, it's been since before the wedding,
so, you know...
Anyway, at this point, really, I mean, what's the difference?
What do you mean?
I mean, we're married now.
Who cares if it's not the best sex every time?
-Even if it's, you know-- -The worst?
Because it's got to happen sometime.
I mean, when we know each other this well.
I'm not sure I like the sound of this.
It's just...
at this point, how many surprises can there be?
Kirsten, you're scaring me here.
No, I only mean...
In a way, it's kind of a relief, you know?
'Cause we're gonna have sex, like, a million more times.
A million more times.
You know, so, no pressure.
No pressure.
No. No pressure at all.
Okay, start from the beginning.
What?
I'm Alexa. Hi.
So, listen--
Yeah, I know. I voted for you for prom queen.
Oh, okay, thanks. Um--
And class president, you know. Sorry you didn't win.
That's great. But, it's not why I'm here.
Believe it or not, I guessed that, Alexa.
You're here to ask me about the song.
So you guessed it.
So, spill.
You know what, Alexa? I really don't think it's anyone's business.
It's everyone's business.
He sang the song to the entire school.
I'm not talking about it.
Okay?
Okay.
I can accept that.
But if I could just ask one question?
He cheated on you, am I right?
-Look, Alexa-- -I know, butt out already.
But... why else would a guy like him
do something like that?
And why else would a girl like you
want to keep it a secret?
I'm sorry. Forget it.
I'll leave you alone.
He cheated on me.
You guessed right, if it makes you feel any better.
Now, we are entitled to all of the editions done,
I want you to make sure that they are clear on that, please.
-Hi. -Hey, Julia. What can I do for you?
-I have some questions. -Contract questions?
-Well-- -Lynn, can you take Julia through the legalese of her contract, please?
Actually, my questions are more about writing.
See, I have these anecdotes
about my brothers and me when we used to play make believe--
Yeah, Julia--
And there should be a metaphor there
for the gender traps that I got caught in--
You know something, I'm gonna stop you, all right?
Don't you have some classmates you can bounce this stuff off of?
-Quite honestly, no. -What about at home?
Is there anyone there who can help you?
Well, if it's which songs are going to go on the movie soundtrack.
Really, I need one or two minutes.
I can't.
You can't?
Well, I'm sorry, but that's not how it works.
How it works is, I read.
You write, I read.
That's it? You know, I really thought--
You know, aside from the time constraints I have,
which are... I have got 11 books in development.
Now, I could never sit down with all of the writers and talk to them.
Well, there's also... a guy like me,
there's a reason why he edits instead of writes.
Oh, come on, you've done some fantastic books.
I've trimmed, I've rearranged, made notes.
You know, the last time that I actually wrote--
What, a book? You... you wrote a book.
No, I typed it.
To call it writing...
One second.
Yeah, I'll be right with you.
I'm sorry. I wish I could help.
Tonight, huh?
Just the end of the dinner shift, to close up the place.
So you guys can get a little alone time.
We've just both been kind of swamped lately, so...
All right, I'll tell you what. How about I take the whole week?
No, Joe. That's... Just... tonight's plenty.
Oh, you couldn't use a few extra nights with your girlfriend
for a little talking... or whatever?
Well, thanks, Joe, but that's too much.
I mean, you got a life. Isn't Frannie expecting you back in LA?
What?
I kept this quiet for Charlie's wedding,
but, um...
now what's the point?
What's goin' on, Joe?
Frannie and me, we're having our problems,
and, uh...
it's nothing you need to know the whole saga about,
but, uh, basically, for now,
we're gonna try it apart for a while.
Wow, Joe.
So, a couple extra nights when I'm not alone in my hotel room--
Joe, whatever you need.
Okay? Take the rest of the week here.
And any other time. Just come by.
I'd love to have you around here.
-I really hate dumping this on you right now. -Joe, forget it.
I mean, when things are going so great for you and your brothers and sisters.
Hey. Don't worry about it.
You know, Snaggles,
a million times today
I wanted to, um...
come down to that silly day care and play with you, but...
There you go.
...supermom had to be super seller today, so...
Yeah. I'll get it.
Okay.
So here's our fun plan, okay?
We're gonna play with all our toys
and read lots of books and...
sing songs...
...as soon as I change your diaper,
and feed you,
and give you a bath,
and make a few dozen more cold calls.
-Oh! -Oh! I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry. -It was my fault, too.
I don't know where my head is lately.
I think I can guess.
Anyway...
Was it... horrible, what he did?
I mean, did you feel like you had no choice?
Okay, Alexa, listen, would you please--
'Cause plenty of guys our age have done that,
and sometimes they actually learn.
Sometimes they're actually better boyfriends after.
Oh, my God.
Cameron cheated on you.
That's why you can't let this go.
I mean, that's it, isn't it?
He... mashed with some chick at tennis camp.
Whoa, I had no idea.
Well, no.
Because I didn't force him to sing a song
in front of the entire school.
I never made Cody do that.
You didn't give him another chance either.
What?
-Well, did you? -Why do you care so much what I did?
I don't know.
I just do.
Oh, boy.
Everyone, set your watches.
They're having their 8:15.
I have a theory.
I think there's more than two of them in there.
You think? Really?
How else could they keep up that pace?
You know what I don't get, is the physics of it.
It's pretty simple, Charlie.
No, no. I mean, of the bed.
'Cause the beds in this place,
they're built stronger than that, so, I mean,
physically, how do they get the bedposts
to flex like that to make all that noise?
Well, I don't know. Maybe...
I mean, if there's something tied to the posts...
or someone.
What made you think of that?
I don't know.
You came up with that awfully quick.
Oh... No, I didn't.
And then you're suddenly acting--
No, I'm not.
What are you...
Kirsten. Come on.
Okay.
Okay. It was...
It was no big deal.
It... it was something that I... I...
...tried once or twice.
You never told me this.
Well, it was nothing. It was just...
it was just something that this one guy was into.
Which guy?
The one... the one before you and I got together.
So... what happened? I mean, you tried it a couple of times and that was it?
Pretty much.
More or less.
And... what? It... it wasn't for you?
It was? You liked it?
You did?
Yes! Yes!
Which is why if I take it as a minor,
I skip quantitative reasoning, which, really, is the one part of philosophy
that I will never get. But the problem with that is
that my thesis adviser is Dr. Klant, and she's fine,
you know, but she's no Dr. Sylvan.
Dr. Sylvan, the one with the white Corvette?
And that's just which major to take.
I mean, the rest of it,
God, I've been thinking for years that I was basically pre-law.
You know? Get out there, do my public interest stuff, the activist junk.
but now, I don't know.
I mean, the idea of that much more school.
Yeah, it's a lot, but these first two years went really fast.
But I think what I'm really saying
is that's why it never felt right.
The way that you looked at me after I broke off the engagement.
Because I've never had any real plans for my future that you weren't in.
I've never really had any plans at all.
So basically, I've been lost.
I'm lost.
Do you see what I mean?
Bailey?
Yeah, I see.
What?
Nothing. It's just... when you say that you feel lost...
I mean, I'm still here.
I'm still sitting right here... Sarah.
God.
I said something wrong again,
so you're mad at me now, right?
No.
No. I'm...
-Nothing. I'm-- -Yes, you are. You're mad at me now.
No, I'm not. Okay? I'm not. I'm not. No.
All I was saying was...
try not to feel so lost because I'm still here.
Okay? You know, to...
figure things out with.
You still have me, you know?
Bailey...
thank you...
for this. I mean for...
talking.
No matter what, it feels really good to do this, don't you think?
Cody. Hey.
Hey. Um... is Claud here?
I thought she'd be home by now.
No. I'm sorry. She's not.
Um... can I come in and write her a note, then?
It'll just take a sec.
Cody... no.
Oh. She told you what happened, huh?
Not all of it, no, but...
Look, we were having these problems, you know?
Or I was.
This stuff about where we were at together.
What felt right.
And I should have...
I should have just brought it up.
But, instead...
I got all bent out of shape.
And now when I want to talk about it, it's like it's too late.
It just makes things worse.
You know what I'm saying?
I do.
So...
then what am I supposed to do now?
You know what, man? I wish I knew.
Hah!
I knocked you out of the box.
I bet you didn't think I had it in me, huh?
Can I just ask you one question?
Why... why didn't you tell me?
Tell you what?
The...
The bed thing. The getting tied up thing.
Oh... that.
Are you still stuck on that?
Yeah. Yeah, because I remember you asking me.
Okay? Five years ago when we first got together,
you asked me.
And I said no, that I'd never done that.
And you laughed and said, you know,
"Sex Charlie Salinger hasn't had?"
So I asked you, and you said that you hadn't either.
-Are you gonna take your shot? -No. No.
Answer the question.
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know. Maybe I was embarrassed.
I don't think so.
I mean, why would you ask me back then?
The reason you'd ask is...
is that you hoped that I'd say yes
so that we could...
try it together, you and me.
Charlie... what is the big deal if I--
I don't care that you got tied up, okay?
I don't even care if you liked it. I care about now.
If there's stuff that you want to be doing that we're not--
I love the sex that we have, Charlie.
Yeah, but it... it could be better.
You've had better.
No, I haven't.
Different, maybe, but not better.
-Oh! Terrific. That's great. -What? What?
Oh, listen to you. You're sparing my feelings.
Which means you admit it.
There's stuff that you're missing. There's stuff that you wish we were doing.
Charlie, stop.
You want me to stop, I'll stop.
But... a million more times we'll have sex
that could have been better.
If you'd only said what you wanted.
Cody.
Oh, please. I mean...
I begged you not to do this.
Look, you're just...
You're still mad at me, Claud, but, um...
I know that'll pass.
Maybe it will, but the rest of it won't.
I mean, don't you understand? I have told you that it's over.
Look, I'm not gonna just give up, okay? I can't do that.
Actually, I'm pretty sure you are.
Do you mind? We're having a conversation here.
Is that what this is?
Where she keeps saying the same thing and you don't listen?
Who are you? Who is she?
I am just an observer who can't help seeing this girl is done with you.
Claud, can we do this somewhere else, please?
I wish I was half as bad as her,
and she drew the line. She said no,
like, half a trillion times.
-Lex, you think we could just leave this to them? -You shut up, Cameron.
Claud, is that what you think?
I mean, is this cheerleader speaking for you?
I guess she is.
Come on. Look, I'm just trying to reach you here.
I think it's time for you to leave, Cody.
Hear me out, okay? I mean, for 15 seconds. Please.
I said, leave.
Samantha? No.
Is it gonna be... Diana? No.
Is it gonna be...
Um...
Mr. Burbeck?
Kids,
Mr. Burbeck, my boss, says beep to the monkeymobile.
Miss Jablonsky.
I'm sorry. I was just... I was just taking a tiny, little break.
Uh, actually, it's not that tiny, but... you know, yesterday,
I just missed the whole day with my daughter. Actually, have you met my darling little girl--
Daphne.
It's just...
it's hard knowing that she's down here all day.
But you know. You understand me 'cause you have kids.
I mean, don't you want to spend every single minute with them?
Isn't it almost enough to make you not want to work?
Well, now that you bring it up...
Wait.
-Are you saying that I-- -Look, I'm awfully sorry, Daphne.
But... but, Mr. Burbeck, this isn't--
Feel free to stay down here as long as you like.
Hey. How's it going?
Just like Shakespeare in Love, huh?
The life of a writer.
Your muse has abandoned you.
You're blocked.
Quill pen's broken.
You look like you're going to cry.
Not about to. I already have been.
Oh, Julia. What's wrong?
I'm just... I'm, um...
stuck.
I don't know what to say.
But, wait. Isn't it just...
I mean, it's a memoir, right?
Doesn't that mean you just write what happened?
But it's... it's not just what happened.
It's what it all means. It's what did I learn from all of this?
Okay. So what did you?
Well, I know all the obvious things.
That stuff I know. But that's not enough. If this book is even worth writing,
I have to be able to say something new.
What did your editor say?
He says, "Figure it out." He says, "You're the writer."
That's... that's pretty sucky.
He's right. I shouldn't need anyone's help.
If I'm really a writer,
I should have something to say.
I mean, that's what makes a writer.
Wait a sec.
You're saying you're not a real writer if you need help.
Basically.
That's the big lesson you got?
All of this with Ned?
That you're not who you should be until... until what?
Till you don't need anyone else?
That's... that's really sad.
That's like saying don't even try.
That... you're better off being alone.
Just a sec. We used to keep the bitters right down here, but...
Look behind you, up top.
Oh, thanks. Hey.
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
Just looking over some receipts.
I thought this was your night with Sarah.
That was last night.
Last night, tonight. I thought you were taking a week.
It's okay, Joe. I got this work to do.
What work? Don't you trust me here?
Joe, I trust you. I trust you.
Then what are you doing coming in here at 9:00 at night?
Look, look, just leave it alone.
Please, will you?
Joe, I'm sorry.
It's just...
Things are not quite as smooth as they look between me and Sarah.
-They're not? -No. They're not.
There's... there's...
stuff in the air between us,
and I don't know, sometimes it's easier not to be with her.
Okay, so, uh, this problem,
you're solving this by coming in here and talking to me.
It's not a thing that I can help by talking.
No, there's nothing you can't help by talking
and nothing you can't make worse by clamming up.
You don't know the situation.
-I don't have to know the situation, Bailey. -Look...
I'm trapped, okay?
Because if I let her know
how bad I'm still feeling,
then she's gonna start to feel bad, too,
and she'll resent me for making her feel that way,
and she'll be right.
Because she's allowed not to know what she wants for us, Joe.
And aren't you allowed not to like that?
No. No, I'm not.
That doesn't make any sense.
Joe, we're okay now.
Because she doesn't know how I feel,
but as soon as she does, as soon as she knows how I feel,
then we're right back to where we were for the past four months,
and... I really don't want that.
Okay, well, then listen, Bailey.
This is your life, and, uh,
I'm certainly not in any position
to say how relationships work,
but I know how they don't.
And what I'm seeing here...
this... if this is your idea of "okay"...
then I guess you're right.
Don't say a word.
Hey.
Where you been?
Last day here, I figured I'd spend my pesos downstairs.
I found this great boutique
with all kinds of cheap fabrics and silks.
Like this scarf.
And this one.
Amazingly cheap.
You could almost just...
use them and then...
throw them away.
They're really soft.
They wouldn't chafe you at all,
let's say, on your... neck or your... wrists.
My wrists.
That was my thought.
Or would you rather play cards?
Salinger!
Hey!
Don't say hi or anything.
I didn't see you.
Look...
I'm... I'm sorry
about that fight yesterday.
I didn't belong there butting in, and...
you didn't need my help.
Are you kidding?
No, you...
I mean...
thank you.
So, you got time to say hi to some people?
My friends have been dying to meet you.
Your friends...
meet me?
Come on.
Hey, you guys.
This is Claudia.
You know, like the song.
The next job, it's gonna be great.
It's gonna pay really good.
It's gonna have short hours,
and for day care,
they're just... they're gonna let you sit
in your not-so-supermom's lap.
Yeah, I know. I'm dreaming.
I'll start looking for something real tomorrow.
Hey, what's the rush, right?
The next day's just as good.
'Cause jobs are like people you meet.
The best ones come when you're not lookin'.
Like you and me.
I checked with Claire. Your schedule's free for the next 40 minutes.
-Excuse me? -So let's not waste any time.
I brought you a copy of the first chapter--
-You know, this really isn't-- -It's incredibly rough, but it gives the basic idea.
I explained how I work to you, Julia.
I know.
I know, but...
I'm not your typical author.
I'm 20 years old. I have never done this before.
So... so you basically have two choices.
One is I write this alone,
and the book that you get by the deadline, it's not very special.
It's okay. It makes sense, but the book-buying public, they yawn and move on.
Number two is that you help me.
-I told you, I'm very sorry-- -You don't have to write it. I'm not saying that.
You just... you have to... listen.
I'll talk and you listen.
I'll throw some stuff out, and you just say what you think off the top of your head.
You just... you edit me... Evan. I know you can do that.
-Julia-- -Listen, when you gave me this book,
you said you wanted to understand.
You wanted someone to explain to you how what happened to me could possibly happen.
Well, I don't... I don't have that answer...
yet.
But I bet I could find it if someone would help.
40 minutes. Let's see it.
-Do you have a spare outline for me? -Uh-huh.
I hope you didn't think I was wimpy using those slip knots.
No, not at all.
Your point was well taken, I think. Fire safety.
So it was okay, then?
Are you kidding me?
The best.
Really? The best?
Like in the absolute best?
Well...
no, that still belongs to that night...
the last time we got back together.
You think so?
Wow.
Kind of makes me want to spill all my secrets.
No. Don't do that.
Surprise me.
Hey.
Hey, I'm really glad you're here.
Yeah.
Hey. Listen, you got a minute? 'Cause there's a couple of things--
You know how the funniest things can make you feel really horny?
-I'm sorry? -Like the backside of certain convertibles
or... a funny-shaped pretzel?
Yeah, I guess so, but, look, before you get into that--
Well, today in my Bioethics class,
somebody used the word "checkup."
Which automatically made me think about hospital gowns.
You know, those open-backed things?
Which then led me to your little pink butt.
Man, I had to leave the room.
Wow.
You know, I don't mean to be pushy,
my sweet, but...
could you kindly strip?